Edited to add: this topic amuses me so I am going to talk about it in the comments all weekend.
A short, cautionary tale that starts happy, gets excited and ends in a pool of blood...
Yesterday Mr. Swami brought me home a Cuisinart Food Processor. It is so sweet! (I asked him to pick one up for me since he works about 2 blocks from a Macy's, and I would have had to drive 28 miles round trip to the nearest Macy's.)
This is the Big One - with Professional Extras, so I can mix all kinds of dough, and slice and dice and shred and stuff with hardly any precutting because the big feed tube is so big! (It has a small feed tube too.) The regular price was $260, on a one-day sale for $119, and Mr. Swami got an another 10% off that price because he put it on his Macy's charge.
So I grab the box and immediately start opening it, pulling out all the attachments and stuff. Everything is packed so tight! It is very hard to get stuff to slide out of the box. After I get the attachments out I could not for the life of me pull the big, heavy base unit out. So I ask Mr. Swami to help me. I hold the box while he reaches inside and pulls. No dice. So I tip the box and he pulls some more. Then I tip the box past 90 degrees and give it a little shake - which is when all heck breaks loose.
Turns out, the only thing not securely & tightly packed is the freaking blade, which slips out and falls on Mr. Swami's bare foot!
"Wait! Wait!!!" Mr. Swami yells as I continue to shake the box, all oblivious.
Then I look down and see the blade lying between his feet, while a little puddle of blood quickly spreads into a little 4" x 5" pool of blood! Mr. Swami limps over to the opposite counter and grabs a paper towel to staunch the bleeding, leaving a trail of bloody footprints. He puts pressure on the biggest cut while I mop up the blood, then get him a clean, cloth towel to continue applying pressure.
And off we go to our Health Care provider's UrgentCare center to get it stitched up. We walk in, he registers, and then the nurse who comes out to check him says that the Urgent Care doc who is on duty "doesn't do stitches." !!! We would have to go to the ER at a nearby hospital. So turn around, walk back to the car, drive 4 blocks to the hospital, walk in to a desk again and register with the ER.
Six stitches, right on the big knuckle where your big toe connects to your foot. At least the blade missed the big tendon that controls the toe (by only about 2 mm!) so his foot should recover just fine. It was a deep cut though.
Also, as we drove the 10 miles into town, I would have been all crying, whinny and self-pitying had it been my foot. Mr. Swami sat in his seat and ate a cookie! Men are tougher than the average me, that's for sure.
I don't think Mr. Swami will give me any more presents that have blades attached!
Poor Mr. Swami. I feel so bad.
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13 comments:
Did you at least drive?
*giggle*
BTW: You need to put gauze on your next shopping list. It's something we don't think about at all, but every home should have it especially in cases like this.
*smooches Mr. Swami's foot* I hope he is better soon.
You'd better give him lots and lots and lots of TLC. *wink*
Oh dear! Is it bad that I was going to put "Yay for the new food processor!" before offering my condolences to Mr. Swami's toe?
I'm sorry, I'm just a big kitchen geek. *hangs head* But I really DO care about Mr. Swami's toe.
Poor Mr. Swami! On the bright side, you've got to be impressed with that blade, no?
First and foremost: Poor Mr. Swami. A lovely gesture from him, and he was nearly de-toed.
Will you be able to use the machine without thinking about its bloody past? Do you think it' reformed? I think once they bite, they are supposed to be put down.
Yes, Boo, I drove. And Mr. Swami got lots of TLC - even if he did refer to it as "getting even."
Mr. Swami will be be quite touched by your kind words for his brutalized toe.
The Emergency Room doc said that a dishwasher works really well to get blood off your cuisinart parts. Maybe we are not his first food processor related emergency?
Woo-hoo!!! I just cut up the veggies for a HUGE stir-fry - in 4.2 seconds! I feel so, so, vegetable-cuttie powerful!
Already, I can't imagine life without my Cuisinart!
Oh no! Poor Mr. Swami! Give him some {{hugs}} and *smooches* from me, please!
Mr. Swami says he has become a laughing stock at the bank. People who barely know him will walk up and ask "Why did you put your foot in a Cuisinart?" Then laugh.
I almost feel bad.
Also, I just received an electric knife I had on order (I am going all high-kitchenie-tech, aren't I?) and I couldn't open the little case it came in.
First Tom said he couldn't help me because he had promised his boss not to help me with sharp things anymore. Then he relented, put on leather gloves and boots and opened the darn knife case.
Boy - you almost cut off your husband's toe just once and you get such a reputation!
So far I have heard Mr. Swami tell the Tale of the Traumatized Toe twice on the telephone. He has figured out the best places to laugh and just has so darn much fun in explaining the gory details.
Next time, I may have to actually sever the darn toe - just to give him something juicy to talk about! I'm nice that way. :)
Yes. It was nice of you to almost cut off his toe so that he could have a story to tell on the phone.
*snort*
Ohhhh nooooo. Poor Mr. Swami. At least his toe wasn't severed. I hate when that happens.
What kind of cookie was he eating in the car?
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