Reese's. Peanut Butter. Cups.

Food of the Gods.
Why share with strange children?
Let them eat Snickers & KitKats.

Yoo-hoo! I’m back!

I took a quick look at a few blogs last night and determined that the Zombie baby arrived. Hooray! The Survey blankie arrived – hooray! The birthday bash is taking/took place – yay! Coco’s boobs are rebelling – uh, huh?

We had a great vacation! In brief…

The King Tut exhibit is spectacular! I love the Amarna art style and I was blown away by some of the figures on display. I almost blew $500 myself on a perfect, gilded, winged Isis (even Tom was sold) but managed to restrain myself in time. Reality & all that. The Tut exhibit was fairly crowded, and took about 2 hours to see properly. The Field Museum’s regular Ancient Egypt artifacts are also pretty darn nice. And their Tibet stuff. It's a nice museum.

We had a lovely visit with relatives in Indiana & Wisconsin. Originally, we were going to drive up the coast of Lake Michigan to Milwaukee and then head back. Instead we wound up spending a couple of days in Lake Geneva. While there I suddenly realized that I was almost in Weltek territory. Isn’t that near you, Kim? I felt cosmically close or something. In fact, at dinner on Wednesday I had this weird feeling that you were in the restaurant too! Houlihan’s? I found 2 women who might be you and almost walked up to them (both at full tables) to say “Hello, are you Weltek?” But then one table started to sing Happy Birthday to someone so I didn’t go to either table. I need to get your phone number or something so if I accidently wind up close by I can at least give you a call to see if you're available!

Geneva Lake was a cute little town and the weather Wednesday was perfect so we took the 2-hour boat tour past all the mansions. Supposedly, Geneva Lake is Newport West - and there were some darn nice houses on the lake!

Also at this time I would like to apologize to the people of Wisconsin for the bit of buttery buggery on the balcony of the Mill Creek Inn. I blame the Bailey’s.

And now I’m off to read bloggy things!

King Tut

Yay! Tom and I got tickets to see the King Tut exhibit in Chicago on Monday, so we are driving down tomorrow. I missed this the last time it was close and I am very excited to see it! Tom has the week off and we have family in Indiana - so count me out for a while. I'm always happy to get away with Tom!

*walks like an Egyptian*

Coq au Vin without the nasty mushrooms

is every bit as good. Also, it's a great way to use up bits and dregs of wine, so it's very thrifty.

And you may have noticed - I lost my profile pic and an earlier multipost when I went head-to-head with Blogger earlier today. Blogger won.

Crackers & Cheese

This is my new preferred breakfast. Eight 1 & 1/4 inch squares of Premium Multi-Grain crackers, one slice of Kraft individually wrapped American Cheese, folded twice to make four squares for four little sandwiches. Coffee. Simple perfection I tellya, and no dirty dishes!

Of course, I could have had cake. Tom and I had leftover cake for breakfast yesterday. He had cake for breakfast again today but I went for my crackers & cheese perfection. Not that I have given up on the cake - oh no! Not me. What could be a better lunch than leftover Boston Dessert Cake?

No Time To Write

I am busy moving furniture, and supervising Tom and the kids as they move furniture up and down from the basement.

We accidently invited 10 people to a sit down dinner on Tuesday, so we need to seat 12. My dining room table, which seats 12 very nicely got moved to the basement a few years ago when we converted our dining room into a hugely needed home business office.

That table is too long for the kitchen & who wants to eat in the kitchen anyways. Plus I like to spread out when I cook and not stay all contained. In the family room there is not enought room to open it out unless we take just about everything else out. Such a pain! Mom's table is HUGE!

So we have been auditioning table & furniture placements all afternoon.(Don't laugh - I have 6 kitchen or dining tables of various sizes in my basement. They have all auditioned.) Looks like we can eat in the family room using two other smaller tables places together just so and still not feel like we are pretend sardines, or have to take the rest of the furniture out of the room. Downside? We will be eating in a room that containes a 37" TV. Upside? If the party gets boring I can always put on Dancing With The Stars!

Olde Tyme Photos

I told you they were likely to be B&W! The color pics were mostly slides, most of which I have never scanned in. These should be enough to give you a chuckle though.

Your standard baby pic. My hair looks so dark! When I post later pics you will see how much it bleached out in the summer sun.

Notice the sensible panties. Evidently, they kept me caged in those days.

This must be backstage at one of my first ice shows. I think I was supposed to be a snowflake or ice fairy or something. I wish there was a photo of me in my minuet costume - but I guess mom was too busy being a backstage organizer to take photos every year. Chubby little thing, aren't I?

I Feel Cheated

It is freaky-deaky cold out there.
Weren't we promised a Global Warming?

Snow on Geraniums & Glowie's Meme

Okay. There will be no snow on geraniums pic at this time, unless is miraculously appears. Blogger keeps telling the pic uploaded & we're done, but I see nothing. On to the meme.

Also? This is the first chance I've had to get on the puter all day and by now everyone is probably done. I will blame blogger because that's what all the cool kids do.

01. What does your Blog Name mean?
A swami is a naked person, possibly covered with ashes, who thinks they are hot shit in a metaphysical sort of way.

02. Elaborate on your default icon
Girls just want to have fun. Play with me. Life's a beach. It was the first thing I saw in my webphoto file that looked cute.

03. What's your middle name?
Jean – yes, great beans. Not to be confused with Mean Jean.

04. What is your current relationship status?
Totally married.

05. Honestly, do you and ur crush flirt alot
Yes. 24/7.

06. What is your current mood?
Mad at blogger, slightly twitchy.

07. What do you love most?
Road trips with my husband.

08. What makes you most happy?
Looking at statues.

09. Are you musically inclined?
Not really but I fake it well.

10. If you could go back in time, and change something, would you?
Of course. Not telling what it is.

11. If you had to be an animal for one day, what would you be?
A bird. I want to fly!

12. Ever have a near death experience?
This is different than a close call, yes? I have had close calls.

13. Name one thing you do a lot?
Worry. But I plan through worrying so it's all good. I'm not worried, I just worry.

14. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
*crickets*

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Glowie!

16. Name someone with the same b-day as you?
I have found this out a dozen times in various quizzes but I never remember and if I leave to Google it Blogger will probably screw me up. So, no answer.

17. Here, enter your own secret question:
???? Psssss psssssss pssssss.

18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience? Where?
Yes. In high school I belonged to group of 5 girls who sang at various high school events and for meetings like the Kiwanis Club & stuff like that. We wore costumes & did little choreography moves. Very wholesome. I refuse to tell you our name because it is too cute.

19. What are the things you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
Eyes, chin, arms, hands, biceps, buttocks, thighs, back, stomach, the bulgy spot, chest, hair, feet. Not necessarily in that order.

20. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows ?
When forced to by a child.

21. Do you have glasses?
Yes. Once upon a time I wore contacts but then little veins started to grow into the colored part of my eyes so I stopped. I'd get Lasiked if I were younger.

22. Are you comfortable with your height?
I like being tall. Whenever I am in the presence of a woman who is taller than I am by more than an inch or so I feel very uncomfortable. *I* am supposed to be the tall one!

23. Name something funny that always happens to you?
I can't find something I have been saving to mail. Ten seconds after I seal the box or envelope I am mailing I find it. This happens to me multiple times every year. It happened this weekend.

24. Do you speak any other languages?
Speak? No. I used to read Latin & French fairly well, and German and Hindi with a good dictionary. With life support and a good dictionary I could read a little Sanskrit & Pali.

25. What's your favorite smell?
Jasmine. Vanilla. Burnt matches.

I Am Not Coco

You know how sometimes Coco posts about what she cooks, like "I didn't have anything in the house but half a sausage, some dried beans and an old hard cheese." Then she throws it all together with a few things she had laying around the kitchen, like foie gras and black truffles, and comes up with something all Frenchie fabulous?


Yeah, well, I can't do that. <--- Witness.

See I had a bit of nice Napa cabbage, one carrot, a few bean sprouts, cilantro and some spring roll leaves. So I decided to make Vietnamese fresh spring rolls! Why not? I found some green onions, I always have fresh garlic and ginger, so I soaked the spring rolls leaves and "created". Since this was going to be the main dish I wanted to add some seafood or meat to them. Limited pickings here. I nixed canned tuna because it didn't seem right. Chicken sounded good but the only chicken I had laying around was a few frozen, breaded nuggets of some kind from a bag my DD had used most of. I figured I could bake the nuggets, slice them thinly and it would all be good.

Not.

The "chicken" nuggets were some kind of weird chicken-loaf thing. The breading was strangely textured. And? They were not delicious. But I was already committed so I persevered. The result was NOT Frenchie fabulous. Edible, but not very yummy.

-insert title here-

I have been lying to you all just a bit. Like, you may think Tom and I are perfectly compatible in bed. Not so. Our bed is a war zone. The man is a complete pervert!

For instance:

I have one thin, beaten into submission pillow. He has three big fluffy pillow for his head and one for his feet (or legs or something - who knows? - it's under the covers somewhere.

I like one light acrylic blanket. He likes to be weighted down by multiple, heavy, heavy blankets & quilts & knitted wool afghans.

I can't bear any covers over the top of my shoulders, even if I'm cold. He sleeps with the covers pulled way up, and a tshirt over his entire face so he practically disappears.

I must have the bottom sheet firmly tucked in. I check it for tautness every night before I get into bed, jic. He? Kicks the bottom sheet out immediately and sleeps with his feet sticking out. Yes, he covers his face and breathes through his feet.

I get in bed and close my eyes to sleep. He massages his head and feet with a heated vibrator thing (not one of "our" vibrators); he enthusiastically fluffs all his pillows; he takes 3 mg of cherry flavored melatonin; he puts fresh water into his nightstand water bottle; he puts lavender oil on his upper lip, sometimes he sprinkles lavender essence onto his top pillow; finally he lays down, pulls up his multiple blanket layers and sticks his feet out. Lately he has been adding two bath towel to the top of his mix, just for the extra weight.

TG for kingsized beds! In the morning we can just pull one big quilt over the whole two-sided mess so it looks like a real bed. Even if his side is thicker & fluffier than mine.

So weird.

Dear Christopher,

In fourteen hundred and ninety-two
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He 'found' a place that wasn't lost
And planted his flag at a terrible cost.

I am not a big fan of Columbus. Yeah, he was a brave and bold explorer I guess. Most educated people at that time knew the earth was round, so he wasn't afraid of sailing off the edge (though some of his sailors probably were.)

What I regret is that when Columbus planted his flag Europe was still in a convert-them-to-Christianity-at-any-cost frame of mind that would make al Qaeda proud. Plus they brought so many virulent diseases to the New World. I don't think they took any epidemic diseases back, did they? I don't think so. Just the food staples of the modern world - potatoes, corn, and wheat (not barley or rye - the common Eurograins - but good old golden wheat.)

Ever notice that in South America, where many more people still identify with their "pre-Columbian" ancestors, Columbus Day is not a big deal? A guy I know from Ecuador, who identifies himself as 'of Inca descent' once explained it like this: "Us having a celebration for Christopher Columbus would be like Jews having a parade for Hermann Goering."

Quick! Hide the Vibrators!

*rushes around bedroom*

This? is the Friday morning Idiot's Firedrill for the DH and I. Friday is when my lovely new cleaning lady comes. Heaven forbid she should find and/or handle (clean?) the collection of sex toys under the bed - especially The Kraken! Nobody knows about The Kraken!

Tom lost the buggy whip last time. It was too long to stick into a dresser drawer and he can't remember where he hid it. You'd think a four-foot buggy whip would turn up pretty quick, but no.

Are you hiding anything today?

Cottage Cheese

No, I'm not trying to steal Weltek's thinder. I'm talking about ceilings here. Cottage cheese ceilings, which my house is full of. On TV home improvement shows they just scrape them off whenever they can. And those shows where you get your house ready to sell? All the realtors go in and gag whenever they see one! So I want mine out.

I have fantasies about men with little stilts scraping off my cottage cheese. And yes, lol, it's almost as good as sex.

Do you have cottage cheese seilings?
Have you ever scraped one off?
What color are your ceilings?
Tell me about your ceiling. I am fascinated by ceilings these days.

How To Train A Cat

Day One.
Rambuctious young cat bites your toe, so you put her outside to burn off energy.

Day Two.
Rambuctious young cat bites your toe, so you put her outside to burn off energy.

Day Three.
Cat walks over and bites your toe because she wants out. With injured foot you give cat a brief flying lesson.

Day Four & Forever.
Rambunctious young cat meows and/or plays with catnip mouse by door when she wants out.

Swami <---a trainer, not a trainee.

Do They 'Remember' You?

Do you ever click that "remember me" box for websites you go to frequently? I never do. It feels like leaving a door unlocked to my house or something. Maybe because I share this computer with Tom and sometimes my DD? Do you use the same passwords for different sites? Do you have any screen names with 69 in them? lol...


Swami's work & play place.

Not tonight. Headache.

I woke up with such a headache this morning. *throb* *throb* I haven't had a headache in years. *throb* *throb* They suck. *throb* *throb* /pathetic message.