Random Thoughts on a Very Christian Wedding

I'm back! The weather was perfect and we had a very nice time.

This was a very Christian wedding, in an Evangelical Lutheran church. The opening song was a solo sung by a woman with the most gorgeous voice. It was called, I think, "How Beautiful" and was all about 'how beautiful how beautiful is the body of Christ.' Nicely sung but I thought it a strange song overall.

The bride and groom came down the aisle to music from Pachelbel, again, very nice. It was the minister's words that seemed off and inspired my random thoughts.

Seven times during the ceremony he pointed out that "This is the true form of marriage--one man and one woman." "This is marriage as God created it--one man and one woman." So that's when he lost me. Also, he pointed out twice that people who wanted to change the one man one woman format designed by God were obviously wrong. Why do ministers have to address topics like this during a wedding ceremony? Shouldn't they just be focussed on the two people before them and talk about them? It's somebody's wedding for Pete's sake! (I have also sat through several scathing rebukes of divorce during Catholic funerals--as the divorced children on the deceased sat in front just trying to mourn their parent. So. stupid.)

Minister spent a lot of time explaining how woman was created from a man's rib and thus it was her destiny to submit to her husband since without him she would have been uncreated or something. I am not religious so I am always in anthropologist mode when I attend a church service. My thoughts on this are more Fruedian. Most women do not have Freud's famous Penis Envy. Insecurity about their penis is more of a male thing. But I think many men have Uterus Envy--because how powerful is it to create life from almost nothing? So as a Creation Myth, having woman come from man's body gives man back the power he craves. I also think it is interesting that the rib is kind of a penis-shaped & sized bone. The First Boner, so to speak.

Then he went on and on about how woman must submit to her husband as part of marriage. See, I have always thought that linguistically this is pre-medieval Code-speak for 'woman must be willing to have sex with her husband whenever he wishes.' Again, I have no idea why this ancient concept has to be so stressed in a wedding between two young professionals. I guess male ministers reinforce male power at every opportunity.

So when we got to the reception line, I noticed that people were listening very closely to the Rev. when it was their turn to be greeted by him. I wondered what he was saying that they found so interesting. Then when I got nearer I figured it out. They guy was talking a very low voice, so if you wanted to hear him, you had to lean in and focus. It was another control technique, very passive-aggressive too. So I have no idea what he said to me because I couldn't hear most of it and I did not lean it. Also, I was annoyed at him because of the whole anti-gay undercurrent he injected into the ceremony and the whole "submit" thing. So I just smiled when he was done speaking to me and said "Yes, okay." He looked a bit confused so I guess that was a Wrong Answer. But who cares?

The bride had a beautiful strapless white gown witha short train and lots of sparklies. The groom was movie star handsome. The bridesmaids had very nice, basic, long black dresses that will serve them well for a while. There was a Flower Girl, as their often is, and also a "Junior Bride." This is a new concept for me. She was about 9, wore a long white dress and a sparkly tiara and looked so happy to be part of the ceremony.

What is a Junior Bride? Who is she 'marrying'? (There was no Junior Groom.) Does anyone know where this tradition comes from?

Also, have I missed anything wildly important? I will do as much back reading as I can, as quickly as I can--but if there is something I need to know, please point me at it!